I Use to be Chunky, Now I'm Obese, Trying to Get Back to Chunky, For Now

I am obese. Sure the first time I saw the chart at the doctor's office, it was hurtful. I have not always been fat. Growing up I was chunky. I was never skinny. In high school, I was a size 9/10 and weight 160. I remember my oldest sister telling me I needed to lose 20 pounds. Of course, I asked so she told me. I never lost the 20 pounds.

Prom 1994

After getting married in 1998, I gradually gained 100 pounds. The 16 year old girl in me would roll her eyes and say "as if".  I tried Weight Watchers over the years. Once I lost 15 pounds in 2003 along with my husband. I had such a bad attitude and I just did not want to eat healthy. I clearly remember fighting with my husband because I wanted a cheeseburger and fries for dinner and he wanted to eat our healthy dinner.  I went back to my bad eating habits and it came back quick. Exercise was never  something I did for more than a few days. I always thought "It's just not me".  During my pregnancy I lost 30 lbs because my appetite was much smaller then I was use to. I was shocked I could only eat half a cheeseburger. That's nuts.  I remember one day, I was driving and I did not recognize my arms. It was such a odd moment. I had my son and I weighed 200 pounds. It was odd to have a body 30 pounds lighter because I didn't feel nor see it until I had my boy. I look at pictures now and I do not recognize the girl in the pictures. I have not seen 200 lbs on the scale in 8 years. I could fit into a extra large for about a minute. I gained the weight back and stayed the same for years from 230 to 240. Often I tried to eat healthy and it would only last 3 to 4 days. I lacked motivation and courage to get healthy. I hated what I was eating and I would be monster mad. I gained an extra 20 pounds all of a sudden. My back hurt constantly and I felt like it could give out any minute. I hated to bend over and used my toes to pick up things. Yep, I just said that. It's true. I also suffered from chronic leg pain since I was 6 years old. I knew weight loss would ease my back and leg pain.

weighed 270

During the summer of 2012, I swam every day for 30 minutes. I love to swim. I thought why not change my eating habits just a little. I didn't do any thing drastic. I just kept track of my calories on My Fitness Pal and I stopped eating a 4th meal. The swimming was a great calorie burner. By the end of the summer, I was at 240. I could not tell in my clothes nor how I felt. Although, the scale said I had lost 20 lbs I didn't feel good about it. Several times I tried to eat healthy following that summer. For me that's on Mondays. You know the day for new beginnings. By Thursday I was done. When motivation struck I would loose 5 lbs and get down to 235. I would be so happy I would celebrate with food and the 5 pounds came back quick. I did this for months.

weighed 270

My leg pain was unbearable. I could not sit nor stand without hurting. I had had enough. September of this year was my time to push full force ahead. I am getting older and knew age was not on my side any longer.
I walked five times a week starting on September 16, 2013. It was the first time I exercised consistently. It felt so good to get out and walk. Feels like it wasn't even me. I don't exercise. Who's this person. By the end of that month I had lost 5 pounds. This is it. I had to face it and fight not to gain the five pounds I lost. The weekends are the worse for me. I loose motivation because I feel like it's the weekend and it's party time. I had to be strong and tell myself "fun is not food". Monday came around and I kept the 5 pounds off! I felt like a winner and knew I could keep on. My winner strut was on.  I set a goal of 10 pounds for October and I have lost 3 lbs so far. I have now lost 28 lbs. My leg and back pain are gone! I actually bend over to pick up things. ;) Now that I have lost 28 lbs, I feel it in my clothes. It feels great to see the changes. I'm ready to see more. I will push down the cupcake voices and win.

This week I started Couch to 5K. It's hard and it burns. I push through and keep my eyes on the prize. A life without limitations.

weigh 239



Stay tune because I am not done yet and I want to share it with you!

P.S. I've never shared my numbers with anyone other than my husband and sister. Yep, I weigh as much as a linebacker. I'm determine to change that number.