Food Monsters Were Attacking ME

I had lost 15 lbs. in this photo, that's as much as that pumpkin weighed. I like to look back on my journey in photos to see my triumphs.

Food Monsters Were Attacking ME

I had a difficult day this week. Food monsters attacked me all day. I had temptations to eat out every meal, ice cream cones and every thing else. I wanted to stuff my face.
 On the way to work, I wanted to stop in at Cracker Barrel. I imagined eating their pancakes, hash browns and eggs. I prayed to God to give me strength and said no.

At lunch I wanted to zip over to Sam's Club for a slice of $1.79 pizza. I prayed to God and I said no.

 On the way home from work, I planned what I would eat at each place I passed. I felt under attack and was feeling defeated. I passed McDonald's and wanted a cheeseburger. As I passed Whataburger, I desperately wanted fries and a shake. Jack in the box, McDonald's again, Church's, Taco Bueno, Rib Crib and Pizza Hut all came next. I felt an overwhelming internal fight with myself. I prayed out loud for God to give me strength. I spoke my bible verses and told the devil that there was no place for him within me.

When I am struggling, I also try to distract myself with activities that I enjoy. Often I just cry. I cry because I want to hog or binge so badly that is all I think about. I tell myself to think of how far I've come. I also like to read my non-scale victories and look at before pictures of myself.

My fight continued into the evening. My Boss held me while I cried and just let it out. Why does it have to be so hard? It feels good to just let it out and not necessarily have a long discussion about it. Just roll out the tears is so cleansing. If I want to I also talk it out and not hold it in.

I went to bed very tired and sad for such a difficult day. Days like this happen less and less as my journey continues. I know it's because I am growing, but the struggle some times still hits me. I woke up to a new day refreshed and so satisfied with myself that I had won. The food monsters did not beat me. God gave me the strength to beat the day. He is within me and my faith is strong.

The feeling I carried the next day knowing I had beaten the struggle is far better than feeling guilty and ashamed for hogging. I am very pleased with myself right now.

You have the strength within you to beat your struggle. Believe in yourself and pray to God you need Him and he will carry you through.

I share my story in hope to inspire others.